


He Was Like A Time Bomb

by PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Hashirama is too pure for this world, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Madara the poor baby, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 03:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15899787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane/pseuds/PhoenixFireAndSanelyInsane
Summary: {Title based on the song "Time-Bomb" by All Time Low}Madara has been keeping a secret from Hashirama, and it comes out in what he feels is the worst possible way.(TRIGGER WARNING: THIS FIC TALKS ABOUT A PAST ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP AND FEATURES A FLASHBACK/DISASSOCIATIVE EPISODE OF PTSD. THE ABUSE IS NOT GRAPHICALLY DESCRIBED, BUT THE FLASHBACK/EPISODE IS A BIT DESCRIPTIVE. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION IF THAT IS SOMETHING THAT CAN TRIGGER YOU.)





	He Was Like A Time Bomb

**Author's Note:**

> Before this starts, I want to make something clear:
> 
> MADARA'S FLASHBACK/EPISODE IS BASED ON MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH HAVING THEM!
> 
> While you may not have experienced them the way he does, it is very close to how I usually experience them (right down to the pattern of speech). His is a little more extreme than my worst one has been, but that is only because I tweaked it a bit to fit the character/universe and the event that created the issues in the first place. His trigger is also not the same as mine, because if he had mine, the poor thing would be dealing with these episodes damn near every day (angry yelling, especially from men but can be from anyone, by the way). I have another, but that one is for a phobia, so I don't think it counts here. And, while I have not been diagnosed with PTSD (apparently I "don't meet all of the requirements"), I was informed by a professional that what I experience is indeed flashbacks/disassociative episodes like the ones those with PTSD do after I described my experiences to them in detail.
> 
> You must remember that everyone experiences conditions/illnesses, mental and physical, differently. Everyone is different, no two people will have the same experiences. 
> 
> Alright, now that we've got that covered, please enjoy this piece of fucked up insanity from my head. And please don't leave hate because you feel that I did not represent the condition "properly". Again, his experience is based on my own personal experiences.
> 
> (Also, this is not in the same universe as the HashiMada domestic discipline fics I have up. Just to clarify.)

Uchiha Madara. A name that strikes fear into the hearts of most who hear it, a fact which the man who the name belongs to enjoys. A man who has been keeping a terrible secret from everyone he knows and cares about, even his boyfriend, except for one person; His younger brother, Uchiha Izuna.

 

His secret? His last relationship, a few years before Hashirama, was abusive. And he was the victim.

 

-

 

In the three and a half years they had been together, Hashirama had never once done or said anything that triggered any of Madara's memories of his ex. The man was just too happy and upbeat and pure. Sure, when Madara fucked up or did something wrong, Hashirama would find a way to punish him, but it was always fair, and he made it quite clear what exactly Madara had done and that his boyfriend was punishing him because he did truly care, but he  _never_  did so out of anger and  _never_  hurt him. Hell, most Uchiha's sought out partners that would implement discipline in their lives, so Madara honestly didn't mind. The worst things Hashirama had even done was slap his ass firmly a few times or make him eat roe, and the Uchiha could count how many times through their entire relationship both of those had happened on both hands.

 

Madara actually thought he didn't have any real triggers, save for being tied up, screamed at, and beaten violently out of pure anger.

 

He was about to find out that he was wrong.

 

-

 

"Mada-kun, I'm home! The meeting went really well!"

 

Madara looked up from his book, giving a small, soft smile when he saw Hashirama happily bouncing towards him holding a small box.

 

"Good. I heard that the Hatake Clan are difficult to debate with on deals. Are they going to be joining the village?"

 

The brunet moved his legs and sat on the couch, then laid the Uchiha's legs on his lap with a grin.

 

"Mhm! The Head Family is coming next week to work out details for where their compound is going to be and how they'd like it laid out! The Clan Head even gave me a gift of goodwill to show they're serious! They fully decided once they found out mine and Tobi's mother is a member of their clan they had thought died around the time she met our father."

 

The raven rolled his eyes. "So, what did she give you?" "A cologne from one of the other countries; It's only available there, and it's just my type! Smell!"

 

Madara took the box and carefully removed the bottle, taking a quick sniff.

 

It actually did smell pretty good and suited Hashirama well. He detected top notes of sandalwood and cedarwood, middle notes of cinnamon, nutmeg, and vetiver, and a bottom note of amber.

 

Madara suddenly froze, eyes going wide and body going stiff as a statue. His pupils shrank and his breathing became quick and labored, making Hashirama frown.

 

"Madara? Are you okay?"

 

He lightly brushed Madara's bangs out of his face. This caused Madara to jump up and scream, scrambling backwards away from his lover. This only deepened the Hokage's frown as he got up and slowly walked towards the other man.

 

"Madara, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

 

Hashirama gently touched his shoulder, only for Madara to flinch away from him and hold his arms up defensively, a kunai in one hand.

 

"NO! P-PLEASE! I-I'm sorry, Takeshi! I-I promise it won't happen a-again! Please don't hurt me! PLEASE!"

 

The brunet jumped back, eyes wide as he realized what was going on. And he wasn't completely sure of what to do.

 

"Madara? Madara, listen to me, listen to my voice. I'm not Takeshi. I'm Hashirama. It's okay, you're safe. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Can you please give me the kunai? I don't want you to accidentally hurt yourself. I'm just going to put it away where neither of us can reach it, okay?"

 

Madara just shook his head, body trembling. Hashirama bit his lip.

 

"Do...Do you want Izuna? Will having Izuna here make you feel safe?"

 

The man whimpered and gave a slight, weak nod.

 

"Okay. I'm going to walk away slowly, far enough away that we can't touch each other, and send a messenger bird to summon him."

 

When he didn't get a reaction, Hashirama slowly inched towards the couch, bolting to the study once he reached it and scribbling out a message for Izuna.

 

_'Izuna, get to my house NOW. Madara started having a panic attack that's now a full-blown dissociative episode and he needs you here to feel safe. He mentioned someone named Takeshi, if that helps you know more about what's going on. Hurry!'_

He ran out to the backyard and opened the cage for the one falcon Madara had that fully trusted him and held out the note to it.

 

"Please, take this to Izuna! Madara needs him!"

 

The bird squawked at him and grabbed the paper with its beak, quickly flying off to do as asked. Once that was done, Hashirama ran back inside to the living room and very slowly approached Madara, but made sure to stay about seven feet away.

 

"Izuna is coming, Madara, okay? He'll be here soon. Can you do some breathing exercises with me? Just follow me."

 

He started breathing deep and slow, frowning when his lover didn't do the same. Instead, his breathing sped up and he tensed his muscles, ready to pounce and fight if he had to. Hashirama just stayed still, silently praying that Izuna would hurry up.

 

By some miracle, his prayers were answered not three minutes later when the front door opened slowly and the younger Uchiha quietly stepped inside and removed his shoes. He noticed Hashirama and the Hokage motioned towards Madara, who was still trembling. Izuna slowly walked over to him.

 

"Aniki? Can you hear me?"

 

He got a slight nod in response.

 

"Good. I need you to give me the kunai, okay?"

 

Madara didn't fight as Izuna slowly reached for the weapon and pried it from his hand, then tucked it away in his own robes.

 

"Thank you. Alright, I'm going to gently put my hand on your back and take you to the couch to sit down, then I'm going to sit with you and rub your back until you've calmed down. Is that okay?" "H-Hai..."

 

Izuna did exactly as he had said, easing his brother onto the couch and gently started rubbing his back.

 

"Would you like some tea? Or maybe hot chocolate?" "U-Uh huh..." "Which one?"

 

Madara held up two fingers.

 

"Okay. Is it okay if Hashirama makes it for you?"

 

At Madara's nod, the younger man turned to Hashirama.

 

"Can you make him a cup, please? With a peppermint or two tossed in?" "Of course!"

 

The brunet rushed to do so, soon returning with Madara's favorite mug.

 

"Can Hashirama give it to you, or do you want me to?" "Don' care..."

 

Izuna motioned the man over and he held out the mug for his lover, who shakily took it and sipped at it.

 

After about ten minutes of silence, Madara finally looked up from his mug, face stained with tears.

 

"H-Hashi?" "Hai, Madara?"

 

He carefully set the mug down on the coffee table and held out his arms, which Hashirama slowly but happily entered and hugged him close.

 

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

 

Hashirama sat on his other side and stroked his hair.

 

"Ssshhh, you have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong."

 

Madara nuzzled into his chest and sniffled.

 

"I-I...I didn't want you to find out, especially not like this..."

 

"You don't have to tell me anything if you don't feel comfortable doing so, okay?"

 

The elder Uchiha shook his head.

 

"I may as well just spit it out...I was with this guy named Takeshi a few years before you and I got together. Started out great, but turned into abuse. He'd beat the everloving shit out of me for the smallest things. I had pretty much gotten over the nightmares by the time you asked me out on that first date, so I thought I was fine. Guess I wasn't so fine after all."

 

Hashirama held him a bit tighter. "Did I do something to cause this?"

 

"NO! Dear god no, Hashirama, you've never done  _anything_  even close to what he did to me. Your heart is literally too pure for that." He swallowed hard. "It...It was the cologne...At first, it just smelled like you because of the wood, but then I smelled the amber...And I remembered him because he wouldn't even wear a cologne if it didn't have amber...And that exact one you were given was his favorite...I just...I can't smell amber without remembering him, but that hasn't been a problem since it's extremely rare in this country..."

 

"Oh, Madara...Is that why you get so upset when Tobirama gets near you?"

 

Madara looked up at him. "Huh?"

 

"Tobi uses an amber soap because he likes the scent but hates using colognes." "...That would explain why I keep unintentionally snapping at him...Guess I should apologize for that..."

 

The Senju nuzzled into his hair.

 

"It's okay. I'll talk to him for you and ask him to use a different soap when he knows he's going to be around you, but I'll just say you're allergic and it gives you bad headaches. Okay?"

 

He just nodded and shifted into Hashirama's lap, curling up into him and clutching his shirt.

 

"Are you okay now, Aniki? Do you still need me?" "Yeah...I just wanna take a nap...Can I have one?"

 

Hashirama chuckled. "Of course, Mada-kun. Want me to carry you to bed?"

 

"No. I'm staying right here. I'm comfy."

 

Izuna rolled his eyes and grabbed the throw blanket off the back of the couch and tossed it over them.

 

"I'm gonna go before you two get nauseatingly lovey-dovey, but don't hesitate to send for me if you need me. Take care of him, Hashirama, or I swear by the Sage I will Gokakyu your ass so bad that the burns will never heal."

 

Hashirama nodded as he left, mostly unfazed by the threat. He was used to it by now. He held Madara a bit tighter and started gently massaging one of his ears, smiling when the Uchiha started practically purring in response.

 

"There we go, it's okay now. That monster will  _never_  hurt you again or I'll give up the title of Hokage. If you ever see him or hear of him being near, let me know. His crimes were committed in this village, and this village is where he'll pay for them."

 

Madara mewled softly and curled as far into him as possible.

 

"Arigatou, Hashi...Ai shiteru yo..."

 

Hashirama blushed nearly as red as his lover's Sharingan and grinned like an idiot.

 

"Ai shiteru mo, Madara."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if I messed up here, but "ai shiteru yo" is supposed to be the serious romantic translation of "I love you" in Japanese, reserved for serious relationships. From a bit of research, "ai shiteru mo" is supposed to be the "I love you too" version of the above, though it's probably not correct and I'm sorry. Also, Hashirama is so flustered because it's the first time Madara was said that specific thing to him. He would usually just say "suki da".
> 
> Also, this is the cologne I used for this https://theline.com/products/no-04-bois-de-balincourt-perfume-oil?utm_medium=bamx&utm_source=nymag


End file.
